“The best thing about friendship is that age and distance doesn’t matter”

“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.” – Washington Irving

It is rightly said that one should make friends without any barriers of age , language , culture etc. Experience hanging out with people who do not speak the same language as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from the same social background. This is how you see the world with a different perspective and this is how you grow in life.

I was working for a firm named Aker Solutions where I used to handle Norwegian projects, though I was based in Mumbai. It was great to work with these Scandinavians and learn about their work ethics and socio economic culture. I visited Norway many a times and developed long lasting relationships. But out of all those acquaintances I have a very very special friend who’s almost double my age . It was just by chance that life offered me this opportunity to know a man who is just old by age but so young and vibrant at heart and mind than many of us, including me.

My profession of project management in the oil and gas industry demands some amount of aggression to get things done. And here I met a man who never bothered to respond to my emails or calls. He plainly kept mum always , which used to get on my nerves. He was the in charge of the procurement scope in the project at Stavanger, Norway . Without his response it was getting really difficult to gauge the procurement status on the project , which was extremely critical. I had to travel to Stavanger in a week’s time for a client review and meeting this guy was on my top most agenda . I was curious to know the reason of his silence and wanted to give him some gyaan. But the day I met him all my doubts vanished in thin air. A very tall guy , almost my father’s age - extremely courteous, who spoke to me so softly in broken English. He was so shy of even making eye contact and very politely conveyed the message that he could not respond to my emails only because of the language challenges and not otherwise. I immediately took help of the Google translator and asked him to respond to my email in Norwegain which he did flawlessly. I translated it and noted down the complete status of the procurement and heaved a sigh of relief as everything was in control and we could meet the project milestones. Slowly with more interactions, I came to know about this wonderful human being whose heart was filled with love for fellow human beings.

Arne Dahle was born and brought up in Norway and had little knowledge of English, and yet he deeply loved Indians for reasons oblivious to him too. You could hear old Bollywood tunes playing in his car though he did not have an inkling of what’s being hummed. In spite of his busy schedule, he always spared time to take the Indian group for a drive or to his farmhouse in Kristiansund. He drove a van in which he used to keep stuff like skates, skis, shoes etc only to entertain the Indians who got deputed often to Stavanger office from Aker solutions, Mumbai. Very kind at heart, he was always ready to offer his time and help especially to Indians. He had immense love for the Indian culture though he had never visited India. How delusional it can be to draw an impression about someone unless you get to know him/her. Thus I got to know Arne and eventually became very good friends.

In 2013, I was deputed to Stavanger for a project review . I always carried few masalas with me for some Indian cooking during my stay. Sudeep - my husband and my then three year old daughter Diya , visited Stavanger for the first time during my stay. We got an opportunity to host Arne for some Indian meal and he just loved everything. He ate like a kid enjoying every bite – though I could see him sipping water often , in spite of my attempt of making all dishes pretty bland. He loved to show us around across the beautiful fairy tale land. For the first time just because of Arne we got a chance to visit the serene snow capped , Sirdal, where you could see thick snow till your eyes could reach. Such a marvelous natural beauty. It has a fond imprint on my heart. He taught us how to ski and it was fun to realize , how bad we were at it , falling after every 10 meters. A thoughtful and compassionate man, he carried hot coffee for all of us knowing , we Indians are not used to such harsh cold climate and some bakery stuff for Diya. He took care of every single need during the trip. When we were about to leave Stavanger, we gifted him a card expressing our gratitude to this lovely human being. I couldn’t stop my tears when I saw this man break down like a kid , reading the card. He said his children grew up and left home early for career and to set their own family life as all Europeans do and how he missed them all. I realized how lonely he was and how he derives happiness from life by helping people.

We have remained connected till date even after moving out of Aker Solutions in 2015 . I joined another firm but the memories with him remained priceless.

In 2017, just because of Arne and the strong desire to meet him again, we planned another trip to Stavanger. Every one back home advised us to visit some other country , since we all had been to Norway couple of times before. But somehow the deep desire to meet Arne again was very strong. So we 3 landed up in Stavanger again.We were as delighted as he was to meet each other again.

This time Arne arranged something for us which had been my dream since many years. My daughter’s birthday coincidentally (or for a reason may be) falls on Norwegian National Day (17 May). I always wished to celebrate her birthday atleast once during the Norwegian national day celebrations. Arne made it possible. He managed to get a Norwegian national dress for Diya and took us to his beautiful farmhouse where we could easily be part of the street march which is carried out all over Norway on this day. It was a pleasure – rather a privilege to witness their culture. During the stay at his farmhouse, Diya and Arne gelled so well. Generally she is quite choosy in mingling , but with Arne she played all over the house. They cooked together and it didn’t seem that they had such a huge age / language / cultural difference. We went for drives and he ensured that we had lot of fun and good memories. We went to his house and met his wife and we all celebrated Diya’s birthday together along with my other friends. He took us to his garage which was full of antique stuff including his antique cars which he had kept so safely. We came to know that he loved flying aircraft and still does adventurous flying when he gets time. He used to go for fishing and dealt with every single household work like carpentry, electrical repairs etc . I can say confidently that very few of us would match to his energy levels even at our present age.

I learnt a great deal from him. His energy and enthusiasm to live life one day at a time – no matter what life throws at you , his love for people, his love to travel and the best part about him is the ability to listen. He used to listen to our stories with so much interest and curiosity. The day we left Stavanger, I knew he would be sad. The same was with me too. Rarely you get to be with people who are absolutely selfless and so genuine, kind and loving – a thorough gentleman with chivalry of an Armed Forces officer. We did gift him something as we always do and it seemed he had decided to be strong this time. We bid him goodbye, entered the airport and took a turn to bid him final good bye, not knowing as to when do we meet him again. We saw him sobbing like a child outside the airport. How could I control my tears for such a man, who had become a close friend. I went running back to hug him tight .It’s such an irony of life that it offers many memories on the platter , both good and bad , but I don’t know if life would give me the opportunity to meet Arne again. I know one thing for sure that he is someone who would always be there if I need him. I wish him all the best and pray that he always has a happy life and the love this man deserves.

I never imagined that I would, someday, have a friend for life who’s so different from me in every aspect but yet so dearly connected .

We miss you Arne !!!!