My Best Wedding Anniversary Gift to Neelima Loads of Love – Wrapped in Fur

Our Marriage Anniversary

We recently celebrated our 12th marriage anniversary. We went for a romantic candle light dinner with live music in the background. It was scintillating. Over these 16 years of memorable courtship and 12 years of living together, we have gifted each other myriad things…of course, as all couples do, on birthday’s and anniversaries and just casually without any occasion…just to pamper each other and make each other feel important. It began with stuffed toys, bouquet, souvenirs, self-made cards, long letters, dresses, jewelry, vacation to exotic places, surprise dinners….so on and so forth. But this time, when I was listening to one of the most romantic number played by this live band…..it reminded me of selfless love and the best gift I have ever given to Neelima on one of our wedding anniversaries. Many people told me, when I committed into this relationship, that gold and diamond is the most coveted gift for a woman….perhaps they never owned a dog.

Neelima’s Work Trip - 2009

It was early December 2009. Neelima was at Stavanger, Norway. She had gone there on an assignment for a month. She was four months pregnant. Every evening she came back from work and sat beside her window mesmerized by the beauty of the place. She often used to describe about this fairy tale land. Frozen lakes, trees capped with snow, roads bathed with icy water and houses and cars drenched with cold snowflakes. She described how the silent snow danced in front of her eyes, twirling and falling down graciously on her palm when she stretched it out of the window. It was soft, like a cotton. How it melted in her hands just like the sorrows of life melt away when a loving hand holds you. Yellow lights in her wooden guest house, situated on a hill top, seemed so beautiful to her, yet so lonely. Those days there was no whatsapp or viber or video calling apps, rather no smartphones. Logging onto a laptop or PC and call……She kept worrying about me as to how would I manage my affairs at Mumbai alone and ofcourse she longed to come back home.

As all working women go through this phase…..life seemed little baffling and confounding to her. “Life is all about choices” and hence choosing the correct path, at that time, seemed difficult. I am sure all couples go through ups and downs in their married life and the year 2009 tested the mettle of our love and faith. She, sometimes, used to go into those deep thoughts and apparently get upset. Norway is a perfect place in winters to drive you inside the lonely dark caves of despair, when you are staying alone. Dark and lonely nights with absolutely rare sound of footsteps or voices outside, the place was desolate. Yet, Norway is the most beautiful country we have ever been in our lives and have visited multiple times and would love to go again, if we get a chance.

Create a Stir

I was at my favorite uptown bar “Elbow Bender”. With my beloved “Old Monk” in hand and feeling tipsy, I was wondering what gift should I choose for Neelima for our next anniversary. Our 2nd marriage anniversary was next month. Neelima was never inclined towards jewelry, clothes or any expensive stuff…. What she really adored was my letters. Though letters, stuffed toys, bouquet were my all-time favorites’ for her, which I had been gifting her for five years, I wanted to gift her something which she really really loved from the core of her being. I knew she loved pets, rather all animals. She always had pets at her home. A pet dog when she was a child and then stray cats in all the Army houses due to her father’s frequent transfers. She loved to feed them, cuddle them…..But here I was…completely opposite, terrified and petrified of dogs and cats. Even the sight of a stray dog 100 mtrs away would scare me to death. I avoided going to people’s home who had pets and just hated the idea of cuddling them. How could someone really love touching an animal……

Few more old monks and I messaged her “Do you like a pug?”……She was surprised by this question. She replied “Sudeep I hope you are not crazy enough to even think of buying a pet, because we are going to become parents soon”…….I replied “Of course not dear, it was just that I came across the HUTCH advertisement and I found the dog looking pretty ugly. But thought of asking you since I assume you told me once that you love pugs”……She was quite certain that I won’t even dare to think of getting one home since I just didn’t like pets. Comforted with my answer, she reiterated her concerns “Sudeep I love dogs, specially pugs, but definitely not for now, we will have a lot more responsibility in the next five months, with a child coming into our lives. A pet is nothing but a child, forever. It’s a big responsibility so don’t even think of it”………

I understood why she said so….because those days, I used to come back from work late at night and followed my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)….Crazy run and work out no matter how tired I was. Come back home drenched in sweat and savor my favorite old monk. We spent some time together during dinner and slept off to start off a busy day, again, at 0500. Such was our routine. She said she couldn’t have raised three kids at a time for sure {She considered me no less than a kid } She thought she made it very clear to me.

My Gift to Neelima

It was end December 2009 and Neelima landed at Mumbai International Airport. I was there with my bouquet of colorful gladiolus. She knew it, it was my habit…..and often I would have sneaked a letter under her pillow or kept a stuffed toy in the bedroom, she knew of my surprises. She just leaped and hugged me tight….It seemed the most comforting moment. Off we drove to our sea side cosy home in Colaba. Neelima missed our home so badly.

Out of excitement, she just shouted as soon as we entered our home “Sudeep I am so happy, coming back and I instantly replied “SShhhhh” and she shrieked “Why? Who else is there inside. It is 2200”…..and I said “no one”…. Bang opened the door and came out a cute little puppy – a pug - with his big surprised eyes staring at her and asking “Heyyy do you like my wrinkles……welcome home Mommy….I am a stuffed toy with life…..kiss me and I will turn into your prince”………She was shocked, flabbergasted. She didn’t react, didn’t speak. She had warned me not to buy a pet, It’s a huge responsibility, Not at this time. She was worried. She observed his cute little paws slipping on the floor. Though the puppy seemed apprehensive, he came slowly and licked her once. She tried to touch him. He licked her again. She held him. He was a 40 day old baby. Fitted just into her palm. He kept staring at her. She put him on the bean bag. He settled there and his eyes said “Is this yours, oh sorry, I am not moving any more”……..She hugged him tight…..tears of joy filled her beautiful brown eyes. She was speechless………She never asked me why I took this decision…..

How Oscar came in my Mind – then to my Heart

When she was in Norway , that very night when I messaged her about a pug……I went back and did lot of research. Somehow I drew strength to overcome one of my biggest fear….a dog. I wanted to gift Neelima something which she would really love. I knew her then for almost five years. A terse questionnaire on a site revealed that a pug was the only breed which would suit our requirement. A pug sleeps for 14 hours a day, is child friendly, gets tired in 10 minutes of walk….so on and so forth. I consulted few experts in this field who helped me clear my doubts of whether I should go for a cat or dog and everyone advised me to keep a dog since Neelima was pregnant. But yes, almost everyone suggested that I should wait till our child grew old enough. Somehow something inside me kept me going. I found out a pet shop and they had pugs. I never went to the shop personally. Finally when I told my plans to my family, everyone opposed. My parents were equally scared of dogs and my mother said she would never come to our house if I got one. Our maid issued a caveat that she would discontinue her work at our place if I get a dog at home ……. My relatives and friends said it’s impossible to manage a child and a puppy.

It was a conundrum whether to go with my heart or the logical brain. As it goes “ My heart is without a brain and my brain is without heart, so when I do what my heart say’s….I seem thoughtless”. Skeptical of taking this step, I got a call from the pet house owner….Naomi. She said that there was only one last pug left and few were ready to buy immediately. Pugs were one of the favorites during those days – courtesy Vodafone/ Hutch advertisements. But she said the puppy is a little squint. I instantly replied that I would come that evening. Don’t know what made me say this. I took help of my colleague who said “Saheb ko kutto se dar lagta hain, to hum kutte ko pakadke lane jayenge”…..My mother, who had stopped talking to me since I informed her of my plans, said she would also come along since she really didn’t know what was I upto. We entered the pet house and I saw a tiny puppy who was being bullied by a Pomeranian puppy. He was not able to walk steadily as his paws were slipping on the floor. I found him kind of cute, a small baby. He was not toilet trained – 40 days old. The puppy stared at me and I was told to feed him milk in a feed bottle. I couldn’t. I was infact not sure if I would be able to touch him. My mother said she will try to feed him in a bottle. We got him home with the help of my colleague, just the day before Neelima landed at Mumbai…..

Oscar – The One who Changed our Lives

Our pug. One of our dearest friend suggested his name. They often used to come to our place for guitar classes and ended up playing with him. We named him “Oscar”. The best gift I could ever give to Neelima. Simply the best. He is our bundle of joy. I can’t describe in words the way he metamorphosed our lives, our home into an euphoric environment. There was laughter, joy and happiness, always. The best part was he changed me. I used to feed the puppy with a milk bottle. I assured Neelima that I will take complete responsibility of Oscar. I did. Not only he changed me towards being responsible for him, but he unwittingly made me responsible towards Neelima too. Till then Neelima was more of my girlfriend, than wife. Oscar made me understand what is ‘responsibility’ towards family. His walks, his toilet training, his meals, his vaccination etc. I started coming back early from office. Infact I sometimes used to come home for lunch, which I didn’t earlier, just to play with Oscar for ten minutes. I started going to CST station to pick Neelima up and we both drove back to our sweet home, excited with thoughts as to what Oscar would be doing. We would watch him through the keyhole and when we would open the door, sprinting he would come, wagging his imperceptible tail. He would start rotating in one place, beaming with joy. I brought lot of toys and he used to bark at those toys before he got lost playing with them. He was so small that lot of times he was unnoticeable and by mistake we used to trip on him.

He followed me like a shadow. Left, Right, Straight, Back….wherever I used to turn…Oscar turned in that direction following my footsteps. When he was teething, he tore apart his cute home and everything else I bought for him. But how could someone get angry on this bundle of joy. Neelima used to pick Oscar up on her palm and place him on her lap. He seemed to understand that there was one more soul inside her belly and he used to lie on her belly as if listening to Diya - our daughter, she was five months old then….inside Neelima’s womb. The best part was tea time after reaching home from office. Neelima and I, both fanatical tea lovers, used to sit next to our sea facing window side for the most cherished tea time. Oscar would try to jump to have at least one lick of tea, his tongue watering. Big foodie, as all pugs are, he was alert and ready at drop of a sound in the kitchen or on opening of any packet.

OCD To OPD (Obsessive Pug Desire)

Diya and Oscar eventually became siblings. I would not deny that raising a puppy and a child, together, was an experience I would never want to have again. His toilet training was in progress when Diya started crawling. He initially thought Diya was a toy and wanted to play with her just like his toy, by holding her fingers inside his small teeth. It was fun. I used to go for Oscar’s vaccination and Neelima would go for Diya’s. But those times were memorable and developed a special bond between them, rather all of us. This is Oscar, as the name aptly brings out, the best gift I could ever give Neelima.

We are the center of his universe, focus of his love and faith. So is he for us. His love is unconditional and pure. He is ten years old now. He is our first child and our life, time, plans, holidays… everything revolves around him. My three years stint at Russia turned the tables. He is now a shadow of Neelima. Neelima has a tattoo of Oscar. She has more than 5000 pictures of Oscar on her phone, probably more than mine. She greets Oscar first when she enters home from work. She, and of course I and my daughter, would prefer staying home with Oscar rather than going out with friends or partying. They both can’t live without each other. Oscar keeps staring at the door till Neelima comes back from office. Oscar has now become Neelima’s shadow. He speaks to her often in his code language……he seems to say “Our souls already know each other, you needed me and I came to this world just for you…..”

“When our life was in despair, He made it repair…The love he showered on us…..We would never be able to Repay”